DT125R ARCHIVE

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
DT125R Forum -> General Chat -> 50 Shades of Chav
Post Info TOPIC: 50 Shades of Chav
Ralzy


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 853
Date:
50 Shades of Chav
Permalink  
 

50 Shades of Chav.

"As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight."
"It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time."
"Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you"
"As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same."
"My mum had told me to leave Dwayne many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had fooked his tea up after failing to de-frost his prawn ring I had nicked from farm foods. He picked up the power lead from my kids mega drive and whipped it across my doughy c**t. It stung but I liked it. I shouted again again so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections"


__________________

 

 
grifter


DTR Respected Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 72
Date:
Permalink  
 

lmao

__________________
tripr


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1053
Date:
Permalink  
 

hahaha had me in stiches m8 good 1

__________________
Ralzy


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 853
Date:
Permalink  
 

Good reading isn`t it Well Thanks to '50 Shades of Grey', my wifeys Kindle now smells like 50 cans of tuna.lol



-- Edited by Ralzy on Tuesday 3rd of July 2012 12:13:16 PM

__________________

 

 
MDK


DTR Legend

Status: Offline
Posts: 1690
Date:
Permalink  
 

this is my own version.... pls feel free to carry on the story
.......................................................................................................
50 shades of chav

as he rode up on his dt125r going throu the gears and hitting band in every gear . he looked so hot in his nike vest top with is made in manchester tattoo showing and contrasting against his monster energy stickers . he stalled the bike and then made it look like he ment to do so . as he kicked out the side stand and got of the bike . not noticeing he was on grass and the ground was soggy wet and the bike soon fell over ..
he tride to make it look like that was his intention and walked off leaveing the dt on it,s side as he lit up anotha bifta ..

He the walked over to me asking for a Drink of me lynnx ultra strong larger and looking at me snatch as I was wearing a very short skirt and you could see me burger buldging in me white / yellow staind pantys ..

I know he was looking and this made me a little wet ! so I was fast to ask you fancy a fck in the bush .. he said yeah why not ? . we walked away from the rest of the group of 20 . about 3 foot away to the bush . he was fast to pull up me skirt and wipped me pants to one side as he bent me over pushing my head against the blackberry bush that realy fcking hurt . but I knew the pain would not last long as he was done with in 20 seconds and already pulled up his jogging bottoms as he walked back to the gang with one hand still stuck down his shorts . and walking as thou he had just done the best love makeing in the world and wanted every one to know so.. as he aproached the group he pulled out his hand and stuck two of his fingers under me mate Ralzy nose ...saying smell dat man she is well rank . Ralzy replied I know I fcked her 20 mins ago you have just had sloppys ..



-- Edited by MDK on Tuesday 3rd of July 2012 12:52:06 PM



-- Edited by MDK on Tuesday 3rd of July 2012 02:52:43 PM

__________________

DTR125CO-1.jpg


de restrictions

good clean up of a old batterd  dtr  95

 
Harry


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 985
Date:
Permalink  
 

LOL what the **** was that, funny though

__________________

DTR_NW


DTR Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 141
Date:
Permalink  
 

thats one of the funniest things ive ever read, way better than the original hahaha

__________________

2003 DTR Soon to be SUPERMOTO "IF YOUR NOT FAST YOUR LAST"

My DTR from start to finish

http://dt125r.activeboard.com/t49728429/03-dtr-partial-rebuild/?page=last
MDK


DTR Legend

Status: Offline
Posts: 1690
Date:
Permalink  
 

50 shades of chave

part 2

It was a friday night and id I'd borrowed me mums makeup and perfume init . I was a little late cause the bus's are never on time I'd had too tap up gramps 4 some money as me mum was out at bingo thinking about it I hadn't seem mum for a few days . So I knock on Louise's door I can already hear the music and voices the door opened it was Tyrone baker his dad was a drug dealer on the estate he'd only ever spoke too me once b4 hello Ty I said he seemed too be shocked ? Maybe it was my red lipstick blue eye shadow? Anyways all I remember after that point was me and Tyrone in the kitchen snogging the face off each other ! And wiv his hand up my skirt. My 1st real love was Tyrone baker the ******* took my virginity 3 weeks later I remember the day like yesterday i wasnt quite 15 I was down the working men's club about 3 mile from home and I'd told Tyrone I was meeting gramps ther about 9pm Tyrone turned up in his mercury trainers what looked like his dads shirt and brown trousers . I was ment too be home 4 9:30 if mum was there her self ... As we walked home Tyrone held my hand he looked too the stars and said ain't they amazing as in doin so he walked straight into a lamp post the dozy sod ! Tryin too act all cool he was like I'm cool I'm cool I could tell he hurt himself. We stopped in the bus stop just out side the flats he seemed so cute kissing me and my neck init I placed my hand on his todger and it started too grow and it grew and grew. He pulled down his brown trousers and it was like hosepipe . He was pulling at my trousers not wanting too dissapoint I helped umm down he had me sat in the bustop looking at the stars wiv my legs spread"

__________________

DTR125CO-1.jpg


de restrictions

good clean up of a old batterd  dtr  95

 
Ralzy


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 853
Date:
Permalink  
 

love it lol


__________________

 

 
MDK


DTR Legend

Status: Offline
Posts: 1690
Date:
Permalink  
 


he he you should have continued the story dude as I have just edited it and now your the star ......

__________________

DTR125CO-1.jpg


de restrictions

good clean up of a old batterd  dtr  95

 
Ralzy


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 853
Date:
Permalink  
 

he he Fanx MDK LMFAO I`ve done my bit at the beginning but its still open for anyone else to continue the story as I got a poorly engine at the mo that needs some TLC

__________________

 

 
Nathlaad


DTR Legend

Status: Offline
Posts: 3766
Date:
Permalink  
 

smashed dat ting bare timez bare donkey punch n dat

__________________

K6 DRZ 400sm
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
DT125R Forum -> General Chat -> 50 Shades of Chav
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard